New Year Preciuos wishes still

  

Spending all those special occasions alone, 

birthdays .. our anniversary .. and the New Year's eve

i know there is nothing you can do

and i know i will remember that feeling for a long time

somehow, i still wish and i still hope 

for one dear wish to come true

and you know what ?! it is not that hard to come true ..

i wish for my days to be kind 

and for my heart to learn to wait

and for my soul to reach the light ..  

..

Time is burning my heartbeats

And i can't help breaking or bending ..

..

 

Not Living ..

 i wanted so bad to write about living the dream

but the sad truth is ..

through all these years 

only nightmares coming true , 

almost all my nightmares coming back to life 

happening with every piece of detail

all the cold lonely nights

and all the darkness with fear

that i never wanted to tell anyone about 

and i didn't want to remember those feelings

running away and running toward the unknown

never reaching the end ..

 life is unfair 

but we have to go on and on ..

 

 

 

 

Follow your heart ..

imagine that you can dream any dream you want; and live that dream to the fullest, a dream where you can be anywhere you want with anyone you choose to be with .. then screw the box that life keep offering you to fit in ..

You will not fit in that box if you kept trying to draw your own path, if you followed your heart you will see things clearer ..

Battles and building castles on your own, we keep running in circles    

 How come you forget all about her!! the times she needed you the most, when she needed to talk and tell you about her thoughts and her monstrous fears ..

 Other times you make her feel like reaching the highest star above and holding the whole universe within her eyes ..

If only she could listen to your thoughts and unspoken words ..

things will change eventually 

If for once you followed your heart

 

Fyodor Dostoevsky, White Nights

“I am a dreamer. I know so little of real life that I just can't help re-living such moments as these in my dreams, for such moments are something I have very rarely experienced. I am going to dream about you the whole night, the whole week, the whole year. I feel I know you so well that I couldn't have known you better if we'd been friends for twenty years. You won't fail me, will you? Only two minutes, and you've made me happy forever. Yes, happy. Who knows, perhaps you've reconciled me with myself, resolved all my doubts.

When I woke up it seemed to me that some snatch of a tune I had known for a long time, I had heard somewhere before but had forgotten, a melody of great sweetness, was coming back to me now. It seemed to me that it had been trying to emerge from my soul all my life, and only now-

If and when you fall in love, may you be happy with her. I don't need to wish her anything, for she'll be happy with you. May your sky always be clear, may your dear smile always be bright and happy, and may you be for ever blessed for that moment of bliss and happiness which you gave to another lonely and grateful heart. Isn't such a moment sufficient for the whole of one's life?” 

― Fyodor Dostoevsky, White Nights