Follow your heart ..

imagine that you can dream any dream you want; and live that dream to the fullest, a dream where you can be anywhere you want with anyone you choose to be with .. then screw the box that life keep offering you to fit in ..

You will not fit in that box if you kept trying to draw your own path, if you followed your heart you will see things clearer ..

Battles and building castles on your own, we keep running in circles    

 How come you forget all about her!! the times she needed you the most, when she needed to talk and tell you about her thoughts and her monstrous fears ..

 Other times you make her feel like reaching the highest star above and holding the whole universe within her eyes ..

If only she could listen to your thoughts and unspoken words ..

things will change eventually 

If for once you followed your heart

 

|| Unsolvable Problems ||

“We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. 

Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: it's got to be the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”

I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.” 

Wanted to be Wanted ..

You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won't mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever...
connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.” 

It hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something or someone the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you, because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it's so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn't come back. You're left so alone that you can't explain.

Contradictions - unsolved

What are we ?
i don't understand our relationship;
sometimes we are friends, sometimes we are more than friends and sometimes i'm just a stranger to you. 

One minute you are talking to me as if i'm someone special and the next minute you are talking to me as if i mean nothing to you.

One day you pay so much attention to me, and then the next day you completely ignore me as if we never met before.

So just don't play with my feelings because you are unsure about yours.

Same questions torn between unsaid words and unspoken truth, same questions running in circles just can't find answers and then nothing stays the same.
 

..

 

Fyodor Dostoevsky, White Nights

“I am a dreamer. I know so little of real life that I just can't help re-living such moments as these in my dreams, for such moments are something I have very rarely experienced. I am going to dream about you the whole night, the whole week, the whole year. I feel I know you so well that I couldn't have known you better if we'd been friends for twenty years. You won't fail me, will you? Only two minutes, and you've made me happy forever. Yes, happy. Who knows, perhaps you've reconciled me with myself, resolved all my doubts.

When I woke up it seemed to me that some snatch of a tune I had known for a long time, I had heard somewhere before but had forgotten, a melody of great sweetness, was coming back to me now. It seemed to me that it had been trying to emerge from my soul all my life, and only now-

If and when you fall in love, may you be happy with her. I don't need to wish her anything, for she'll be happy with you. May your sky always be clear, may your dear smile always be bright and happy, and may you be for ever blessed for that moment of bliss and happiness which you gave to another lonely and grateful heart. Isn't such a moment sufficient for the whole of one's life?” 

― Fyodor Dostoevsky, White Nights

Unconditional Love ..

“People like to say love is unconditional, but it's not, and even if it was unconditional, it's still never free. There's always an expectation attached. They always want something in return. Like they want you to be happy or whatever and that makes you automatically responsible for their happiness because they won't be happy unless you are ... I just don't want that responsibility.” 

“There are so many things that can break you if there's nothing to hold you together.”  


“And if my Sea of Tranquility were real, it would be this place, here, with him.
I don't say anything right away, because I just want one minute to look at him before I give him my last secret.
And then I tell him...



 ..The Sea of Tranquility    
  

Déjà vu - cold dark nights

Cold nights and dark empty streets just the same as I saw them long time ago in my dreams; only sadder to have those ones coming true, and maybe because I hadn't had any dreams of bright sunshine and warm mornings.

All alone by myself in an empty cold street walking and sometimes was running away from something or trying to reach the unknown.

It's weird to have the same exact feeling with the same fast heartbeats and same fear of darkness, loneliness and destiny fading away in a cold night. 

 3/25/19 05:37 pm